Ok, I’m pretty sick with all the stupidness I’ve seen on escalators over the past year. Now, there is a right way and a wrong way to use an escalator.
first off, IT’S NOT A RIDE!!! It’s a method of easier transportation!!! There is also a system in place for those of you who believe in not being dumb. Those who stand on the right side stand, while those on the left side walk. it’s really very simple. You would think that the vast majority of people without down syndrome would get it. Sadly this is very often not the case.
Also, what’s the deal with teenage couples who can;t take a ten second escalator ride together without groping the fuck out of each other? It’s gross as hell, and I’m sick of it. Not only does it not need to be seen in public, but typically it results in the lathered couple taking up the entire escalator and not allowing others to pass them. Damn it it gets frustrating!!!
So, for those of you open to living in a civil society, please take heed and use the escalators correctly, or I will wish cancer on you.
I thought Senator Ensign would be the last we’d hear about one of the Grand Old Philanderers falling off the monogamy bandwagon.
Let’s look at the facts AGAIN!
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford goes missing.
He tells his office he is probably hiking the Appalachian Trail.
He swipes a Government vehicle and goes to the Atlanta Airport
He flies to ARGENTINA to fuck his mistress.
He comes back a week later without contacting anyone for most of the time and holds a press conference to own it.
He resigns from his GOP positions but NOT as Governor.
Let me ask the same questions I asked about Ensign;
Was he a ‘Family Values’ Conservative?
YES
Was he one of the guys who loudly railed against Clinton during the Lewinsky affair?
YES
Did he loudly demand that Clinton resign his post after the affair on moral grounds?
YES
Did Sanford resign as Governor when his own indiscretions came to light?
HELL NO!!!
So, once again we are left with yet another Republican hypocrite who feels that what is good for others is too good for himself. See, when you claim higher moral ground on all things, you are held to a higher standard. If you fail to live up to the self imposed standard you set, you deserve all the shame you get. On the plus side for him, at least he didn’t have sex with a dude, so the GOPhilanderers at least are staying one step from the hypocrisy bottom.
Mark Sanford is a LIAR, a CHEAT, a HYPOCRITE, and a PIECE OF SHIT.
The people of South Carolina should impeach his sorry ass, and never look back.
I made a realization last night while in my sickly haze.
I do not think I could ever date a female who hailed from the great state of Texas.
I’ve just noticed that young ladies from Texas and me just plain do not jive together. They don’t get me, and I don’t get them. This is not to say anything disparaging about the lovely young Texan ladies. It’s just that in this, they are totally wrong, because I am awesome.
I don;t know for sure what it is. But Texans don’t seem to understand the language of sardonic biting wit. There is a certain thing that Midwesterners have in common, and that is a sassy, sarcastic way about them. I think it’s a gene that you acquire through drinking Faygo and plowing snow.
But when I am my typical charming self around delightful Texans, I tend to get strange blank stares. It’s as if I just tried to explain thermodynamics in Chinese to them. there is a polite smile, and a quick departure.
Also, why aren’t Texans ever in a hurry to do anything? Whether it be walking, speaking, or thinking, I’ve noticed that those folks never seem to be able to get to where it is they are trying to go with any expediency at all. You ever been to a theme park with a Texan? It’s death. Slow, slow, meandering death. I think you get to go on like, 2 rides before the sun goes down. They don’t want to do the activities that the theme park would lay out for you. No, they just want to wander around the park and look at things with a slightly agape smile. This also does not jive with me.
So, in short, I apologize to all the Texan ladies out there. But I don’t get you, and you clearly do not get me. This is a shame, because Texas women I’ve heard are the tallest in the country, and that is awesome. But sadly it will never be. Ah well, at least the Canadians still love me.
Did R Sen-NV John Ensign publicly go full force against Bill Clinton during the Lewinsky affair?
YES
Did R Sen-NV John Ensign resign his post after admission of said guilt?
HELL NO
Did R Sen-NV John Ensign fuck a dude?
SHOCKINGLY NO!
What the hell is up with this??? We all know that Democrats have sex with women, and Republicans have sex with men. I mean, that’s as natural as the tides! What does this John Ensign fellow think he is doing being a Republican and having sex with a woman!? It’s embarrassing for the party of closeted homos!
Anyways, it’s interesting that the people who most notably pounded Clinton in the 90’s for his affair are the ones who absolve themselves politically of their own affairs years later. Let me just say that Republicans are the worst form of hypocrites, not that this is news.
So man up Ensign, and resign. Or is what you wanted Clinton to do on moral grounds years ago too good for yourself?
A woman is trying to sue the Cap’n Crunch folks for deception. Deception you ask? Yes, she claims that she was deceived by the company because Crunch Berries are not actual fruit.
Yes, go ahead, read that one again. I’ll wait.
Now, a quick rebuttal from me;
Where do you think they grow the Crunchberries? Do you think that somewhere deep in the Amazon Rainforest there exists a tribe of natives who yield the highest Crunchberry output in the world? They have a vast Crunchberry field set up next to their Schnozberry one. And no, of course Crunchberries do not resemble fruit, don’t be silly. They resemble sugar sweetened corn cereal! It’s part of the magic of the Amazonian tribe and the fertile grounds they grow in.
