Archive for the ‘Dear Republicans’ Category

Wait….Another Affair? WTF?!?!?!

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

I thought Senator Ensign would be the last we’d hear about one of the Grand Old Philanderers falling off the monogamy bandwagon.

Let’s look at the facts AGAIN!

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford goes missing.
He tells his office he is probably hiking the Appalachian Trail.
He swipes a Government vehicle and goes to the Atlanta Airport
He flies to ARGENTINA to fuck his mistress.
He comes back a week later without contacting anyone for most of the time and holds a press conference to own it.
He resigns from his GOP positions but NOT as Governor.

Let me ask the same questions I asked about Ensign;

Was he a ‘Family Values’ Conservative?

Was he one of the guys who loudly railed against Clinton during the Lewinsky affair?

Did he loudly demand that Clinton resign his post after the affair on moral grounds?

Did Sanford resign as Governor when his own indiscretions came to light?

So, once again we are left with yet another Republican hypocrite who feels that what is good for others is too good for himself. See, when you claim higher moral ground on all things, you are held to a higher standard. If you fail to live up to the self imposed standard you set, you deserve all the shame you get. On the plus side for him, at least he didn’t have sex with a dude, so the GOPhilanderers at least are staying one step from the hypocrisy bottom.

Mark Sanford is a LIAR, a CHEAT, a HYPOCRITE, and a PIECE OF SHIT.

The people of South Carolina should impeach his sorry ass, and never look back.


Another Affair???

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

Wow, seriously? How can the GOP aka the Grand Old Philanderers keep up this ‘Family Values’ line of crap??? ANOTHER top line Republican Senator admits to an affair. There are obvious questions…

Did R Sen-NV John Ensign publicly go full force against Bill Clinton during the Lewinsky affair?

Did R Sen-NV John Ensign resign his post after admission of said guilt?

Did R Sen-NV John Ensign fuck a dude?

What the hell is up with this??? We all know that Democrats have sex with women, and Republicans have sex with men. I mean, that’s as natural as the tides! What does this John Ensign fellow think he is doing being a Republican and having sex with a woman!? It’s embarrassing for the party of closeted homos!

Anyways, it’s interesting that the people who most notably pounded Clinton in the 90′s for his affair are the ones who absolve themselves politically of their own affairs years later. Let me just say that Republicans are the worst form of hypocrites, not that this is news.

So man up Ensign, and resign. Or is what you wanted Clinton to do on moral grounds years ago too good for yourself?


More Corruption

Monday, October 27th, 2008

Oh dang it, if only this one could have been about cock just like all the other Republican scandals! :sigh:

Ted Stevens Guilty

To my Republican friends;

Friday, September 5th, 2008

You aren’t seriously backing up this McCain/Palin ticket are you?

Who am I kidding, of course you are.

Anyways, I hope all of you ‘Family Values’ conservatives are proud to know that you are supporting a ticket of 2 admitted (Or soon to be admitted) adulterers. Which family value was adultery found in again? Cause I swear to God if you open your bibles instead of hitting people in the head with them, you see something called ‘The Ten Commandments’. You know, those things that y’all are fighting to get put up on the wall of the courthouses of this nation?

So commandment #7 caught my eye. ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’. Holy crap, that’s the word of God that y’all hold so dearly!

History Lesson Time!!!

John McCain’s current wife Cindy is the woman that he had an affair with when he was still married to his first wife.

Sarah Palin had an affair with her husband’s former business partner and it cost that man his own marriage. The National Enquirer is already on the story, and the news TODAY show that soon the details of said affair are about to be made public, as an emergency motion to keep his divorce records sealed was denied. This means that these details will be made fully public very soon.

Now you conservatives wanted to impeach a sitting President for getting some mouth lovin, I can only imagine that this means that you will not bring yourselves to cast votes for a ticket of 2 ADULTERERS!

In honor of your difficult choice that you must make, I have made a graphic to help you.

Have fun with your own hypocrisy y’alls!


Dear Republicans, Part 3

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

Wow, another day, another Republican anti-gay legislator having gay sex.

Allow me to introduce Washington state rep. Richard Curtis. This time our Republican perv dressed up like a chick, went to a local adult video store, and picked up a 20 something dude. But things went south when the 20 something dude tried to extort cash from Curtis when he figured out who he was.

My favorite part of the whole article; “He told the newspaper Monday he did not solicit anyone for sex, that he is not gay and that he got into this mess just trying to help someone out.”

Damn. How far would you go for a friend? I’ll be honest, I got lots of friends, I’m having a hard time coming up with one who would dress like a chick and do some random dude he picked up at a dirty video shop in an effort to help me. So I am left to conclude that either this guy is the greatest friend in the history of the universe, or he is totally full of shit.

And what kind of friend needs help like that? Can you imagine the phone call?

“Hey Richard, yeah, I’m in a little bit of trouble here, can you help me? I need you to put on a dress and, well, even though you are a married heterosexual state representative, I need you to go to a dirty video store and pick up a random guy and have sex with him at a hotel, that would totally bail me out.”

“No problem homey, you can count on me.”

What a great friend! I mean, if he’s willing to do all that, asking for a hundred bucks would be no thang!

Anyways, time for me to once again reach out to my right wing friends. I don’t know why I bother though, you just can’t stop a family values Republican lawmaker from having illicit gay sex these days. But anyways, I try.

Dear Republicans, STOP HAVING THE GAY SEX! It looks so bad that you guys are the party of wholesome, Christian family values (except when it comes to war) and you keep buggering men while being men yourself. And if you get caught doing it, please stop with these lame ‘I’m not gay lines’, it just makes you look worse! It’s like walking into the kitchen and finding a child with his hand in the cookie jar, only to be told by the child, “I wasn’t trying to take a cookie.” It’s not even a good lie!

I have posed this question to many people, and they all have concurred so far. If you engage in gay sex, it makes you gay. Don’t get married to a woman then get caught having gay sex and try telling me that you are not gay. You blew a dude, the jig is up.

Silly Republicans, will you never learn?


Ps. Since I expect this topic to get many more posts, I just went ahead and gave it it’s own category. Silly gay Republicans.

Dear Republicans, Part 2

Tuesday, August 28th, 2007

Ok, this is getting sad.

Obviously my first impassioned plea to US Republicans has failed. A little while ago I begged Republicans to stop having gay sex on the sly and still keep preaching family values.

Then THIS happens and I feel as if my words have been wasted.

Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig was arrested and pleaded guilty to lewd conduct in a mens bathroom, then tried to deny the whole thing. I mean, if you are going to be a closet gay pervert who hangs out in public bathrooms at least own it when you get caught!

Once again I am getting sick and tired of these Republican hypocritical perverts and their lewd and lascivious behavior. Is there a working Republican who isn’t having gay sex somewhere? I am starting to think that there is not.

Remember, these are just the ones being CAUGHT. What % of caught Republican gay sex offenders represent the overall #? I am sure we will have more and more of these stories as each week passes. Maybe I’ll just start a new weekly column called “Which Republicans are gay this week?” They give me enough material constantly it should be a hit!

Not to mention everyone involved with the President’s administration are all leaving one by one. Maybe they just want to enjoy what free time they have left leading up to the sopenafest coming after the ’08 election.


Dear Republicans

Saturday, August 11th, 2007

Please stop having gay sex.

i am getting tired of seeing another gay sex scandal involving a Republican/Conservative every single week. I mean, if you are going to run as the anti-gay, pro-family ticket, at least pretend like you believe a single word you say!

I mean you got Evangelist Ted Haggard going on TV and leading a huge group of religious freaks hiring a male prostitute and doing drugs (was it meth?) with him. Then you got Mark Foley sending profanely sexual IM’s to underage intern boys, then the following pre-election cover up job that the GOP did. Not to mention Florida GOP rep Bob Allen, known for anti-gay legislation, who was just in trouble because he tried to pay an undercover cop 20 bucks in a public restroom so that he could blow the cop! And now the best part of that story, he now claims that he only did it because he fears scary black people.

Shoot those are just the first 3 that spring to mind, there have been way more just in the past 2 years alone.

Now it’s the new leader of the Young Republicans trying to force a BJ on another dude while the guy slept! Please, Republicans, I understand that you crave cock, but save it for willing participants, or at least ones that you pay!

I wonder out loud if Ann Coulter is going to call any of these guys a faggot?