WWW.ALMIGHTYRAY.COM

…..that has been given to me.

I’m listening to Richard Cheese performing ‘down with the sickness’. If you haven’t heard it go to my myspace page, it plays when you have it up.

Blech, 3 closing shifts in a row, and last night blew. Talk about getting anally torn up repeatedly, and without even the courtesy of a reach around, the shame! I swear some people should be spayed and neutered. The thought of these primates spawning worse creations frankly insults me. I think all of the worlds ills could be solved in my one point plan.
1) Give me the power to decide who lives and who dies

That is the plan, after that I figure the gene pool will be saved and all the derelects removed, therefore making joy for the world, yay, just like Christmas!

I am planning on getting my hair dyed this week some wild color. I was going to get it cut anyways, but I think going the full monty would be fun. I have never dyed my hair before, but I live in LA now and that type of behavior is clearly expected and what the heck? Why does everyone keep suggesting purple though? I think something darker, yet mildly unnatural looking is what I will go with, but I haven;t decided for sure yet. For all I know it will end up blue, that would rule too. I was supposed to get it done today but the person doing it got sick, so Thursday it will have to be! I figure worst case scenario I hate it and it will grow out soon enough, so no biggo deal.

Ugh, well, now I have 3 whole days in a row, and rent will get paid on time! No worries, that is nice. Hmm, if I wasn;t lame I’d probably already have a good idea what was up, fun places to go, people to hang with, etc. However remember first and foremost that I am a dork at heart, and therefore nope, no idea what the following days will bring. What excitement!

In any case today is Fat Tuesday, which is of course a national holiday for us Polish Fatties. I think they should in the name of progress and hip hop rename today Phat Tuesday, and instead of Polish pastries we all listen to albums from the Dirty South and eat grits and stuff, that would rule all. Well, maybe not, but fun times no matter what! Well, I am sure there will be a mardi gras party to go to somewhere, and nothing wrong with that.

Springer is back on now, so thus I must return to the viewing goodness. Everyone be good and if you can;t be good then just be good to me, that is good enough.

-Ray

ps. I linked up the old Almightyray.com website on my blogroll over on the right side there, so if you wanna see what this site used to be, go check it out!

pss. Hey, go check out www.monkey-house.com It was a comic that shut down just as it was hitting it’s prime, but still good, and you will like it unless you are dumb. Did I mention that I helped write a few of them? No? Ok then I won’t.

Well, here I freaking am again, I can’t sleep, I’ve had a nice cocktail after work, and it’s 4:15 AM, I am tired, but my stupid brain won’t shut down, it’s pissing me off.

Oh wait, when I wrote that it was actually 4:20, which means if I was so inclined I could write a reefer joke about high times, but fuck all that noise.

I miss my old roommate Burke. BURKE WHERE ARE YOU?!?! Ok, maybe miss isn’t the right word, maybe morbid curiousity about the one man that almost shoved out of a 3rd story window and killed. I have been wondering what has happened to him for a while now. I don’t remember his last name for the life of me, but his first name was Burke, and he attended Ohio Northern University from Winter of 95 to spring of 96. If you have any knowledge on the whereabouts of Burke, please let me know!

So, I sit back here wondering what the hell is wrong with me sometimes, not to get into details, sometimes I question the guy I am. On one side I see myself as a cut above, what is good for seemingly everyone else isn’t good enough for me. I hold myself to a higher standard, and try to make sure that all of my actions are keeping true with my personal core. Then the other side wonders why I can be such a freaking prude with ‘midwestern’ values living here in LA. I mean, seriously, when in Rome, are you not supposed to do as the Romans do? Hmm, ahh, the duality of man, I think I need to do more living for the moment, and stop worrying about so much shit sometimes.

Dang, I just watched some chick skier totally wipe out at the olympics. That was cool, not a hellaciously violent as I normally like, but I will take it. Speaking of olympics, how the fuck can you be doing an ice skating routine, wipe out and fall multiple times, and still finish in the medals? The hell is that about, nothing says rigged fake ass ‘sport’ than seeing people crash and burn and still medal over people that skated mistake free clean routines.

I would like to announce a new web site I wanna do. In the spirit of JoinBode.com, about skier Bode Miller, I would like to start FuckBode.com. I am tired of seeing his ‘I can’t win a medal to save my life yet I’m on tv all the time talking about how great I am and trying so hard to be an aloof cool guy but if I focused more on my product than my own hype maybe I’d have some form of medal to show for it I am a total failure who nobody should ever listen to and emulate so fuck me and fuck my miserable failures I am going to pretend not to care about because it’s cool to embrace failure’ ass. F that guy, I am glad the olympics are only once every 4 years so people will stop pretending to care about him soon.

In any case, I had a lovely conversation with Erin this evening, it’s nice to get reinforcement that I am the sex god that I have always claimed to be, WOOT

Ok, I am going to try and lie down again, I’d hope for luck, but all of you will probably all be awake by the time I actually get to sleep tonight. grrrrrr.

-Ray

Well, I dropped Brandon off at the airport this morning, he is going to be gone all weekend. That means only one thing, WOOT PARTY!

So I have Brandon gone now, my close personal friend Val is coming to visit on vacation in a short time, lots of coming and going around here.

I’m still displeased that I wasn;t able to get to Vegas to visit David and Paula. It was for a variety of reasons, and I wasn;t sure that I wasn;t going to make it til the night before. Unfortunately he called me the day of before I woke up and called him first, doh. Hmm, oh well, there will be other times.

On a positive side I have been playing some no limit small stakes hold em on line and am back winning again, now I just have to jump through a few hoops to get my money out.

Ok, that is about all for now. What is sad is that even with the place to myself for the next 3 days, I still predict that this will sadly be a boring as hell weekend, with me working all 3 evenings and all. Oh well, so it goes I guess.

-Ray

I just spent a half hour writing a deeply insightful and interesting post about people and being true and my thoughts on the universe. It was really good, thought provoking and interesting.

Then as I went to publish it, I had an internet error and lost the whole fucking thing.

I can only say that cosmic forces must be at work here, and this is not the right time for me to share some deep shit I have been pondering.

This did not stop me from getting pissed off and throwing my keyboard against the wall though. It’s moments like this that caused me to not post for a year at a time on my last site. It can be very frustrating to pour yourself into a written work, agonizing over the choice of words, to in the end have the whole thing disappear, your time wasted, your emotions worthless.

Nothing I can do about it now though, I’d post a bullet point short version but I covered alot of ground, and don’t want to even think about it any more. In short, be true and don’t settle and the gate of inner happiness will show themselves to you.

Ok, that is enough, in the end I search for inner peace and a lack of true turbulence, and this matter is not aiding my personal cause. So, this is all you get, poor humanity, robbed again of my genius.

-Ray

I think George Takai and Ian McKellen should have sex together and put it on video. I for one would watch.

But then again I’m wasted right now.

Does that make me gay?

Just asking.

-Ray

I have no idea why I named this post Robot Jox. I was trying to come up with something and that great movie just seemed to feel right, lol.

So another weekend draws to an end. What a tangled web we weave. I am right now hanging out after work listening to Lords of Acid and jerking around online trying to figure out whether I want to go out tonight or not. Eh, I probably will, I got the day off tomorrow. Therefore that is reason enough to go and destroy myself, heh.

I have met a wide variety of people already out here. Some I have liked alot and some I have not. I suppose that means all is still normal in the universe. I met Chaka Khan at Buca. Heh, yes, that is right, first Richie Aprile from the Sopranos, now Chaka Khan, what is next, the mom from Everybody loves Raymond?

I got so mad the other morning. I was trying to get some extra sleep in the morning, and Jigglypuff (my big fat cat) kept pulling off my blankets, attacking my face, and generally kept being annoying. The reason he does this is to get me out of bed so that I will feed him. So finally after a half hour of putting up with this I get up and go to the kitchen to take care of it. And what do I see when I get there? Brandon had already put food out and Jigglypuff was too lazy to go check it out! I then proceeded to beat my kitty.

So do people out there really care about the Olympics? Don’t we get this same crap like 9 times a year with the winter X games? And I didn’t care about that junk to begin with, I mean seriously, how many times can you watch someone jump up the air on a snowboard and spin around before it gets super boring? I go with twice. And the Biathalon? What the hell is this thing? You cross country ski and then shoot at targets. I mean, could we possibly put together 2 less compatible sports to make something even dumber? I got an idea, I call it the Deltathon. You run a marathon and then go fishing. What do you think?

So my pals David and Paula are going to be in Vegas the next 3 days. I think that means one thing, I must go and check it out! I will for sure file a mini report, but I gotta think that I won’t spend enough time there to really do too much wild junk.

Ok, I think that is long enough, I’m sure I’ll post again soon enough, I am a loser with nothing better to do after all.

-Ray

Let me see, I am still poor, but not broke any more, WOOT! I am working about 6 days a week, doing what I can, scratching and surviving, good times.

Today I watched a full episode of Maury, ah, what a great show. For an entire show absolutely nobody was the father. I love watching these ho-bag women get what they deserve. If you have 8+ different guys unprotected over that type of short span to where you need 7 episodes to still not know who the father is, then you get what you have coming to you.

Now Springer is on, I see that they are letting Steve host an episode here and there, I think that is great, Steve is the man. Now it is I want to marry your 16 year old daughter, with some drunk terrible mom who let her 15 year old move in with some guy because ‘she threw a fit’.

Last night I saw ‘Date my Mom’. This show was fucking retarded. Basically trashy guys have dates with trashy chick’s moms, to get to know about the girls. They should really call this show ‘Whore my Daughter’. Because the moms are talking about how much their daughters love sex and how flexible they are, and all this shit. Then at the end the 2 chicks that didn’t get picked made out for the camera, I mean, seriously, what the fuck? When I have kids I am programming MTV the fuck off my cable box, kids do not need to see bullshit like that, to teach them that being worthless trash is ok. Oh man, I hope I have sons, I don’t think I could handle having little girls, I would be psycho overprotective.

Ok, here are a couple random thoughts to close this one out…..

I don’t wish on death to many people, but if that guy Cheney shot dies, that would be ok with me, cause then we can have a fun trial for Murder 2! Following the Clinton impeachment debacle, I would LOVE to see that sketchy VP up for murder, unless they find a way to cheat again and get his ass out of it.

If a guy wants to be a priest, and he was himself molested by a priest, does that disqualify him because of his sexual past?

Is it wrong that I may be the only guy in the universe that doesn’t think with his pee-pee above all else?

Is it wrong to miss people that have wronged you?

Should I go to Vegas even if I’m a broke ass?

Wow, is it wrong to ask alot of questions during a random thoughts section?

Ok, I think that is plenty for now, anybody that wants to play Dr. Shrink can hit me up.

-Ray

ps. I saw the movie Bubba Ho-Tep finally, awesome movie!

Well, not much has been going on lately. I am glad that once again I showed the world my dominance by correctly picking against the spread on the Super Bowl. What can I say, I must rule all.

Today it was really warm, so so warm. I had on a T-shirt and shorts and felt like I was melting, oh man, I hope it is warm where you are…tee-hee.

In an effort to stay home and not spend the money I am not making I am turning extra nerdy. I have been playing some of my old computer games constantly, and well, I’m not going out, so this is good I think.

Do people still care about Paris Hilton? Or has her 15 minutes finally faded? I was wondering this the other day. I have never seen a bigger waste of life, a more worthless person existing ever. Unless she is reading this then she should become so inspired by my words that she gives me 50 grand to stop saying bad things about her. I can be bought!

I got my kitties a 10 packs of little plastic balls with bells in them for them to play with. Mew has been going crazy with them, but now I am finding them missing, so I go to the next one in the bag. Then I find the old ones and lose the new ones, it’s like easter egg hiding all over again.

I am scheduled to work Valentines Day again this year. I am pleased, I can;t stand these stupid hallmark holidays. Sweetest day, Valentines days, Easter, all these things were made only to sell flowers and candy and cards. I do however think my favorite part is watching women in crappy relationships get all mad because their ‘man’ doesn’t live up to the occasion. Nothing I enjoy more than the misery of others.

Well, that is enough sharing for one post, now, go send me some money!!!

-Ray

Ok, I am going to assume that some small percentage of the people checking out this site are good looking women who stalk me because they want to know more about me cause I am a sexy catch.

I will make it easy for you.

So here is some stuff about me, and what I am looking for.

First off, know this, I rule, and I am not ashamed at saying so. I am damn good looking, have the crazy sex skillz, and am capable of being more compassionate than any women you know. I have more patience than should be tolerated by law, and am able to forgive much. I don’t like to fight but I love to have small arguements, I consider them verbal tete-a-tetes that are essential for keeping the brain sharp. I am naturally messy, and have a general lack of appreciation for order. I believe in the independant spirit, and am perfectly happy having my own life outside of you, but don’t have a problem with sharing everything about me. I am not naturally touchy-feely. I have a great problem with people who jump in the sack with people without getting to know and like them first, I am incapable of such actions.

In short I am the perfect guy.

I like women who are aggressive yet polite. I don’t respond well to unfriendliness. Girls who act like they don’t care tend to get the same reaction from me, cause if you don’t care, why should I? I generally like taller girls, but I break my own rules on that most of the time. Dark hair is preferred. I don’t like women who are just like everyone else, a little quirkyness goes a long way with me. I don’t go out with people who aren’t special.

Hmm, I think this will be a recurring thread as I come up with more stuff that I remember, so I think I will make it it’s own category. So check back for more tips on how to stalk me!!!

-Ray