Archive for April, 2006

SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!

Friday, April 28th, 2006

Oh my God, I am so fired up!

There is a new movie in post production that will whup ass of all other movies EVER!!!

This movie might make Virtuosity take a few steps down in my movie book of awesomeness.

Oh yes, I mean that good!

SNAKES ON A PLANE MOTHER FUCKER!!!

Yes, Samuel L Jackson stars as a hitman on an airplane who lets loose a box of poisonous snakes to try and kill a guy.

That is the movie.

THAT IS THE MOST AWESOME IDEA EVER!!!

And it is called ‘Snakes on a Plane’

I predict Oscars all around

Oh my God I am so pumped, I will be first in line, and if someone else is in line ahead of me I will dangle a cobra on his head and yell in a Samuel L Jackson impression, “You got to move motha fucka, I got a snake on yo head!”

I am worried that the first time I see an ad for it on tv, my head might explode with excitement.

Snakes on a Plane, word.

CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

A Good Day

Thursday, April 27th, 2006

by request:

This has been a good day.
I wake up at 3am and you are there, then I go back to sleep.
Ahhhhh a good day
So I wake up at the crack of noon, for real this time, and feed the cats, and eat something gross, and watch tv.
I take time ou to talk to you, never thinking it was cutting into my day, only that it was a natural, exciting part of it.
I go to work and talk about you, all of it positive.
Then I come home and wait for you.
Sure enough you show up and hang out and comfort, all before going back to sleep again.
Then I wake up at 3am, and you are there.
Then I go back to sleep.
Ahhhhh a good day.

Goin to Dennys

Monday, April 24th, 2006

So I was thinking about going to a local area Dennys Restaurant with my personal computer and playing some online games, but I just found out that they are not nerd friendly….

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/2006-04-24-manning_x.htm?csp=34

Apparantly this NFL player and friends beat the ass of some nerd they decided to pick on because he was there at the Denny’s with a laptop doing nerd things. They beat him so hard he was unconcious when they stopped, then they took off in an SUV where they were stopped soon after.

Thankfully in this country people are not immune to the law no matter who they are or how much money they have or what team they play for, so I look forward to this guy being prosecuted to the fullest of the law and not given a slap on the wrist…….ummmm……yeah.

I wonder if Jesse Jackson will show up to support the victim here like he did in the Duke Lacrosse scandal?

Crappy 1980′s tv show network

Tuesday, April 18th, 2006

I am pissed about my favorite section of a cable network.

Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network has provided some of the best (and worst) shows on air right now. With Family Guy, Futurama, American Dad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Harvey Birdman, Minoriteam, Robot Chicken, and others providing a constant stream of entertaining tv.

Note that all of these shows have one thing in common, they are CARTOONS that air on the CARTOON NETWORK.

Now add to the line-up SAVED BY THE FUCKING BELL.

yes, that is right, the bastion of all that is good with television has added the darkest cancer of programming right in the heart of their weekday lineup. I am trying to come up with a worse show than that one. I cannot, it is a vile, unthinking, unreal, retarded, unfunny program. I would rather watch a 7 day long marathon of Hee-Haw than sit through another 5 minutes of Saved by the Bell.

I mean, not only is it not a cartoon, it’s a horribly unfunny show intended for pre-teens (aged 10-12) to watch in the first place, and that was when it was new back in 1989!!! Who in their right mind thought that of all shows this atrocity was the right fit? Who the hell is making these decisions? Corky from Life Goes On? Hell, I’d rather see freaking Life Goes On! Well………

If they were looking to put on a live action show that might work in the lineup, why not try something with actual smarts and potential appeal? Why not try the Muppet Show, Sledge Hammer, hell even Cheers???

That is not to mention other cartoons that might fill in nicely in the slot, GiJoe, Transformers, Voltron, Hell you guys just took LUPIN III off the air, and that show would fit perfectly….again!

In closing if I could give my life to make the world a better place, I would not create world peace or solve hunger, I would do it to remove Saved By The Bell’s stain off the fabric of our existence. Future generations would rejoice in their own quiet way never having to know the pain of the ignorance and stupidity of that abortion of a tv show.

-Ray

Baseball Predictions

Wednesday, April 12th, 2006

Ok, I wanted to get these on record before the season went on for too long, I think all people with blogs that claim to know anything about baseball should be man (or woman) enough to post predictions of their own……

AL WEST: Oakland
AL CENTRAL: Chicago
AL EAST: Boston
AL WILD CARD: New York

NL WEST: San Francisco
NL CENTRAL: St. Louis
NL EAST: Atlanta
NL WILD CARD: Milwaukee

World Series: Chicago defeats Milwaukee 4-2

Ok, there it is, let’s check back at end of season and see how awesome I did!

The Boondocks

Friday, April 7th, 2006

You know, I think of myself as one of the most liberal people I know, even being here, in Leftest Central. Not that I go crazy with it, I like to think of myself as sensible first, and lefty by nature.

That being said I just don’t get the adult swim cartoon, “The Boondocks”.

This show is so outrageously over the cliff of liberality I find myself getting angry, even when I agree with some ofthe messages it is sending. In case you have no idea, The Boondocks is a cartoon show about 2 black brothers living life and doing stuff and pounding political rhetoric to everyone that watches.

In the episode I just watched one of the brothers took up a vendetta against Santa Claus and went to the mall with a set of laser pointed bb gun pistols and shot him up over and over til he ran away. But because the brother wore a hankerchief over half his face, nobody can figure out who it is, and so they blame the arabs. In the end the brother tells a kid there is no santa claus and makes her cry. Remind me at what point that the kid is supposed to be likeable and get me on his side.

The other half of the episode involved the other brother gaining control of the elementary school’s christmas play. Somehow he convinces the principal to sign a contract guaranteeing himself full creative control over the production. This being done he fires every kid in the production, dumps the script, and hires Quincy Jones to help him. Now, with a blank slate he writes his own story of Black Jesus. He also hires Denzel Washignton, Angela Bassett, and maybe Will Smith to be on board, along with hiring a full orchestra and other actors to fill in the other parts. When asked by the principal how anyone is supposed to pay for all of this, the kid just shrugs and waves the contract saying, I have creative control so you have to do it, so it’s not my problem, you figure out how to pay for it. The principal, representing oppressive white people, brings up a valid point that Jesus wasn’t black, he was middle eastern. The kid’s response was that at that time black people did exist in that region at that time, so therefore Black Jesus is true. In the end they put on the show as written but very few people attend because the PTA boycotts due to all the kids being fired in the first place. The principal is fired from his job but gets a job as an african american studies professor at the University of Maryland. Again, find the place when the kid does something to cause me to want to take his side, and doesn’t act like a pompous asshole.

Oh wait, in both cases the kids do nothing but act like little pricks with no consequences for their actions. Any message that they are trying to send is totally lost in itself. And I didn’t even mention the frequent use of N-Bombs right and left to add shock value. I guess there is edgy, political stuff that can be both thoughtful and entertaining, but enough about Family Guy.

In short, The Boondocks is a total waste of animation cells. I have seen I believe every episode so far at least once, and have yet to find anything but a preachy, self-aggrandizing, racist mess.

-Ray

ps. I’m tired of seeing that billboard for this show outside LAX too, put up a Robot Chicken one instead or something.

Opening Day

Tuesday, April 4th, 2006

I love me some baseball. Opening day is a treasure. Last year I was fortunate enough to get to go to see the Detroit Tigers opening day game for the first time, it was awesome. Being in the stands to see Dmitri Young hit 3 homers in one game was unreal. It’s also great because it marks the start on Fantasy Baseball! I was once again a champion last year, which is of course how it should be. I think I have once again amassed 2 of the most dominant teams in the history of the universe. Sadly I was not able to play again in the league I won last year, because it was an auction league, and if I couldn;t be there at the auction, I didn’t want to do it.

I am starting to feel better from the past few days, I been feeling a little blecky over the weekend. I took some happy pills and now it looks to be clearing up a bit. Just in time for my day off! WOOT!

Poor UCLA, although it was kinda sad to see them get dismembered today, it’s probably for the best, if they would have won, LA would have been burnt to the ground….again.

Rent was easily in hand once again, and I got a nice little springboard going into this new month, so if I can just maintain my el cheapo lifestyle for another month I should be well along the way to hitting my next set of goals, assuming nothing else pops up and rears it’s ugly head……..

-Ray