So I get done with work early tonight and decide to roll out to my Local Albertsons Grocery Store and pick up something to eat. I stroll in casually and the liquor aisle is right there near the front of the store. I walk over and look to see if anything is on sale.
I am met by an employee of the store.
“Hiya there, I’m in charge of the liquor and cigarette areas, if you need any help I’m here.”
This guy seems friendly enough, I let him continue.
“Well there pal, what is your drink of choice, maybe I can help you out finding something.”
“I’m just looking around to see what sales you guys have going on. But usually I am a bourbon drinker.”
“Well, there is a new drink going around that is really popular. You mix Wild Turkey with Bacardi 151 and shoot it at room temperature. You don’t use ice in it or it’s known as a different drink entirely!”
“That is interesting to know, thanks.”
“Yeah, I’ve been a bartender for 5 years in addition to working here, I know my stuff, I got lots of bartender friends too and they help me stay well informed.”
“Hey that is cool. Here is one that I am in favor of. It’s called a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. You take a shot of Jack, a half shot of peach schnapps, a dash of Blue Curacao, and mix it with OJ over ice. It’s radioactive looking, tasty, and strong. It’s really good as a drink for the ladies.”
“Yeah, a good ladies drink, drop a couple pills in there and it’s all good, am I right?”
So basically the guy working the liquor aisle at the grocery store just opened up to me in ways I was not prepared for and told me that he likes to drug and date rape young women. I’d like to mention for the record that I didn’t (and still don’t) even know what his freaking name was. Yet apparantly I look ‘safe’ enough to reward with this type of information.
Ok I give up, why the hell did he say this to me? Was he looking for acceptance from total strangers for his criminal and disgusting behavior? Did he think that I look like a date rapist, and therefore someone he could talk to as an equal? Perhaps he was looking for tips on places to go to purchase roofies, or better still, places to go to use them.
What if he doesn’t actually drop pills in drinks for chicks for the purposes of molestation? What if he is some kind of deranged scientist doing a sociology experiment? Like he drops everything from common sedatives to dangerous psychodelics in people’s drinks in different social situations and then writes down the results. All the people of the world are guinea pigs for his grandiose plans.
Or the guy working at Albertsons was a criminal pervert who talks to much. There is a slim chance that might be true.
So anyways, dumbfounded at this statement by him, I take a pause, start to walk away and say, “Ha ha, alright my man, be good.”
“For sure, if you need anything just look for me.”
I’ll be looking for him all right, on the wall of the post office.
It’s guys like this that make me want to drink…..at home.