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So the draft is fast approaching us. Your Deroit Lions, barring a trade will have the #2 pick in the draft. Let’s take a look at the likely candidates they might end up drafting, and what I think about them…

Jamarcus Russell, QB, LSU
Well, it is widely speculated that this 260 pound monster might be drafted #1 by the Raiders. It would seem to make the most sense for them to do, but if I have learned anything about the Raiders, they will do what they feel like doing. I personally don’t think the Lions need a QB as a pressing need, so even if he is avaliable, I say pass on him.

Brady Quinn, QB, Notre Dame
Again, I don’t think this position is important to the Lions right now. If it was, I would for sure say Russell over Quinn. In every big game Quinn ever played in, he got SMOKED. Brady Quinn’s biggest accomplishment at ND was bringing his team back late in games to defeat inferior opponents he never should have been losing to. PASS.

Calvin Johnson, WR, Georgia Tech
Quite possibly the most talented player in the entire draft. This guy is going to be huge someday. That being said, if Matt Millen drafts another WR this high ever again, there will be rioting in the streets of Pontiac. I would have said the streets of Detroit, but they don’t do that anymore there.

Joe Thomas, OL, Wisconsin
This is the projected guy for the Lions to draft. He is a big, talented, Offensive lineman. The Lions have a strong need at offensive line, so it would seem to make sense. But let’s just beware cause a few years ago the Lions used their first round pick on an OL from Wisconsin named Aaron Gibson. That 400 pound marshmallow was off the team a few years later and now I believe works at a Burger King in Dallas. This whole disgrace makes me want to shy away from that position from that school. Which leads me to….

Adrian Peterson, RB, Oklahoma!
This is the guy. He came off an injury to mesmorize the entirety of the NFL combine. He is a freak athlete with heart and drive. On top of that the Lions RB Kevin Jones is coming off a major injury and they have NOBODY on the depth chart behind him. I watched Peterson’s finale in the bowl game between Oklahoma and Boise State. While Boise State was awesome and won the game, one thing stuck out, Peterson was a stud. If the Lions want to do something to energise the fan base and make a smart and solid decision for the future, they should take Peterson.

So all that being said Millen will draft Quinn and be rewarded with a 5 year extension.

-Ray

So, I’m sitting here minding my own business when there is a ring at my door.

It’s the crazy woman who lives above me.

The same crazy woman that has sent the police here twice due to noise issues, might I add the only times this has ever happened to either me or my roommate.

The same crazy woman whose pipes leaked gross water all over my apartment TWICE in the past 2 weeks.

The same crazy woman who stomps around her apartment all day and night rattling my windows.

The same crazy woman whose son came down here at 4pm on Thurday afternoon to tell me rudely that I needed to turn my music down so he could ’study’. Because, of course, the world revolves around him.

So I get a ring at my door a few minutes ago, and unbeknownst to me (but knownst to me now) there she is. I had never actually met her before, I hope to never meet her again, she scares me.

She is here to ask me about some truck and do I own it. For reasons that I do not understand or care about. We proceed to have a 5 minute conversation about how run down the building is, how squatters live around our pool apparantly, and about how she hates gay people.

None of this did I ask for. Not only that, but she point blank asks me if I am gay, and then makes some comment about how me and my roommate are living gay together. She also asks me about what I drive, and stupidly I tell her, and she says, ‘well my car is more expensive than yours’. You know, because I give a fuck.

Having now finally met my cracked out upstairs neighbor and her rude as fuck son, I can now safely be rude to both from this second forward. I don’t like them, I do not wish to get to know them further, I never want to have to deal with them again. Sadly, why do I think that is totally out of my hands?

-Ray

Let’s talk about addiction for a second.

I have known people that have gone through rehab, more now than when I moved out here. I have a few problems with the bullshit that they pump through your head in there.

Alcoholism is NOT A DISEASE! Whoever is telling you that bullshit is a fucking liar. They are trying to coddle you and give you some reason why nothing is your fault and they are lying to you. Not only that, they are lying to you in a way that is very horrible, they are lying to you when you are at your most weakest, fragile state. Cancer is a fucking disease, Parkinsons is a fucking disease, Alzheimers is a fucking disease. Taking an alcoholic drink and thinking, “Hmm, that looks good I want to drink that” IS NOT A FUCKING DISEASE!

Is it a problem? Perhaps. Is it something that people have to deal with on a daily basis? For sure. Is it a waking demon that lurks behind every thought for some people? Without a doubt. But do not minimalize people who are going through real life ending issues by saying that the addiction you are dealing with is a disease. Please, that cheapens real diseases. People who face cancer and are going to die would kill to trade ‘diseases’ with you. Oh wait, you mean I have a problem with my own limits and act out uncontrollably when I feed my addiction? Well that is fucking better than dying of CANCER and getting KEMO every GOD DAMN DAY!!! Damn it I wish I had that “Disease.”

In short, I understand that people all over are dealing with problems of addiction every single day. This I can respect, we all have personal demons that chase us around through life. But please, for the last time, stop trying to compare your problems with people who have real fucking problems. It’s old, and tired, and a LIE and it needs to stop. While no doubt you may have issues of your own, they are totally in your head and can be changed with very hard work, but never will this ‘Disease’ untouched cause you to go out with a whimper and die sadly like others who have absolutely no control over it.

Please fucking stop.

-Ray

Ok, I had to take a little time away from this, and now I’m back. Also, I had to take a few days away from this topic because I could not freaking believe what it was that I was seeing. Let me say this in plain words;

Anna Nicole Smith dying was not a national tragedy.

How this got to be plastered all over the news is a sad statement for America. Something that I have contended over the past 6 years is that the media does not want to cover what is actually important. This is especially true with Fox News but not limited to them. For example with all the Iraq war stuff getting worse and worser each day, the news outlets a little while ago spent all their resources and energy talking about missing hikers like anyone outside of the familys involved gave a fuck.

I believe that the bigger the news story, the bigger the distraction story needs to be made out to be. So right now we have the very important Scooter Libby trial which basically shows our vice president, if not our entire executive branch out to be a bunch of cold hearted criminal bastards. These people would put an american spy’s life at risk in order to vendetta a man for daring to tell the truth to the american people. With this story heating up we need a distraction story to make us forget about it. Well, fat supermodel dies and suddenly it’s all like “Scooter who?”

And on top of all that, Anna Nicole Smith? When someone leads their entire life down the path to destruction and then in the end gets destroyed, this is not a tragedy folks. On top of all that Anna Nicole Smith has been a human parasite for her entire life, adding nothing to this world. She has shown that having big fake boobs is all you need in life to be successful.

I think people around this country have given her WAY too much credit. She was a high school drop out who made fried chicken and stripped til she made it big by posing naked in Playboy. Not exactly the hard work and perserverence story I’ve come to enjoy. Some folks literelly have it in their minds that Anna is our generation’s Marilyn Monroe. This is offensive to even say. Monroe was a brilliant singer/entertainer who understood that life could be broken down it’s most basic. She used sex as a way to get what she wanted more easily, because she understood this world very well, and what she could do in it. Monroe was classy and smart. 2 words that I don’t think anyone can accuse Anna of being without fooling themselves.

Anna Nicole Smith is dead, boo fucking hoo. She brought nothing to the table of life, and slowly killed herself for 39 years. End of story. Now can we talk about something important?

-Ray

You are all fucking idiots.

I have had a week now to think about how retarded all of you are. And the fact that you shut down the city because of a lite brite cartoon advertisement pretty much gets funnier every single day that passes. The overraecting, humorless jackasses in Boston are the laughing stock of the rest of the country. The fact that this marketing campaign happened in like 10 other cities without issue adds to it. The fact that you created public hysteria over the situation and then acted like a bunch of bumbling fools on TV adds to it. The fact that you arrested a couple of hippies and charged them like they were real terrorists or at least people who were intending to hoax you adds to it.

I mean, acting like those guys were ‘involved in a terrorist hoax’ pretty much admits to the world that you are morons. Let me put it this way, some crazy woman in Santa Fe filed a restraining order against David Letterman because he had been harrassing her by sending secret messages through his TV show. Generally speaking the entire rest of the world will agree with Letterman that she is a crazy bitch. The Boston case pretty much sounds the exact same way to me. They want to arrest these 2 poor art school guys because they are crazy and think they were involved in something that existed solely in their own minds.

I believe that the mayor of Boston and every other person who flipped out over this situation should resign immediately. I don’t think Turner Broadcasting should have to give these buffoons a red cent. I mean, if the people of Dallas see a Ghost Rider billboard and freak out and think that a motorcycle riding demon is really up in the sky and about to attack the city, should the movie studio be forced to pay for the damages? I have a better idea, why don;t people stop acting like fucking morons and then blaming other people for thier own personal incompetence?

I mean, if it looks like a lite brite, sounds like a lite brite, is composed of the same pieces as a lite brite, then clearly it must be a fucking terrorist bomb.

Morons.

-Ray

Maybe I’m weird, but I like finding the fun in the mundane. I like to take a situation that we all have happen all the time and don’t think anything of, and then exploding it by doing/saying the things that you just aren’t allowed to do/say.

But why don’t we have fun like this more? I think people are too constrained by the stupid society they live in. For example, every time I get someone who asks me the stupid who cares question of ‘how are you’ or ‘what’s up’ I have fun. The most common response to these questions that we get daily is ‘ok’, or ‘everything’s good’, or just ‘fine’. Well, that is gay ass. I want to enjoy those moments, hold them precious, make my mark on the world. So I respond with ‘Livin the Dream’ or ‘Every day is beautiful’ or my old favorite, ‘well, my prostate is acting up again, but otherwise ok.’

Now that is fun. Take a throw away moment and make it special.

Take also for example the moment where a homeless guy comes up to you on the street bumming for change. To be fair, the guy does not need to be homeless, he could just be anyone in general asking for money. I think different than other people, I have a good time with those moments, I don’t owe those people anything, and have absolutely no problem saying it. Maybe that makes me an asshole, I call it being straight and honest. So I have fun.

So when faced with the question, ‘can you spare some change’ I say the following; “Sorry man, I don’t smoke.” or “I gave at the office” or “If I had a dollar I wouldn’t be here talking to you right now” or my personal favorite “Look, I’m not going to help you”.

Some people might say that I am cruel. Those people are morons. I didn’t ask them to bother me for money they don’t deserve. So when they entered my sphere they got what they asked for, hopefully much more. What is really sad is that it’s been shown that people who bum for change on the street make like over twice as much as I do. I saw a report that said that some of those people have secret condos and make like 70,000 a year. DAMN! I should be asking them for change!

In any case, I just thought I’d open the door into my world a little, now I will slam it back shut again. Bye.

-Ray

So, if you have this, like I expect 98% of the world does by now. Click on this link and join my friends group so I can tell you what movies to like and hate!

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-Ray