I meant to write this after Monday Night Football, but I forgot. Luckily for me that Jackass Stuart Scott continues to suck on my TV, so it’s only a matter of time til I remembered again how much he annoys me.
For those that do not know, Stuart Scott is a sports commentator for ESPN and ABC. Might I also add that he blows.
Scott is basically a glorified game show host that they allow to host many different opinion shows. Oh yeah, and whenever ESPN comes up with another lame game show idea like Stump the Schwab or Teammates, they dial up Stuart Scott to be the host, shocker.
First problem with Scott is that he tries to pepper his speech with cliched hip hop terms that were popular about 15 years ago. Thankfully I used to be almost cool 15 years ago and kinda know what he is talking about. I feel bad for anyone over the age of 35 who tries to watch him, he might as well be speaking really annoying Chinese.
By the way, did he mention that he likes the University of North Carolina? Oh yeah, that’s right, only like every 3.2 seconds.
My favorite part of Scott’s repertoire is when there is a story where some old white guy says something racist. They always trot out Scott to ‘coincidentally’ read that story on Sportscenter with this really somber tone. Then just look crosseyed at the camera after reading it to without words say, ‘I am really offended by this, how dare people act this way, I’m so damn serious right now. When stories like this happen it’s hard for me to continue acting like a mid 90′s hip hop stereotype.’ Best was during the Duke Lacrosse scandal. You remember, when the media tried to crucify a bunch of innocent white guys publicly and ruin their lives! It was like the Stuart Scott show, “Hi, I’m Stuart Scott, our top story tonight is a bunch of rich cracka kids tried to boo-yeah someone’s hoochy mama to get more flava.”
But what’s even shittier than Scott’s act are his opinions. Thankfully he usually just reports the sports news or hosts the panel of people who have real opinions. Sadly sometimes he’s allowed to say what he thinks. Which is what pissed me off enough to write about why i hate him so.
This past Monday Night Football, after Brett Favre got rimmed, but just before he was teabagged they went over to Stuart Scott. Scott said the following;
“Looking at Green Bay’s schedule, I don’t see any reason to think they won’t be 10-1 when they play Dallas.”
Really Stuart Scott? You tiny brained, annoying parasite? Do you really think that way, or are you just parroting gibberish for the sake of television? Let’s take a look at Green Bay’s upcoming schedule that Scott could not forsee a loss coming from, shall we?
@ KC Chiefs (4-3)
Minnesota Vikings (2-5)
Carolina Panthers (4-3)
@ Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving (5-2)
Yes, they should beat the Vikings at home. But the other 3 games are all against teams with WINNING RECORDS and 2 of those games are on the road! So wait, Stuart Scott, upon looking at that schedule you don’t see ANY POSSIBLE WAY that Green Bay (Who has the worst rushing offense in the league might I add) could lose a single one of those games???
That is funny, cause I don’t see a single possible way that you are not a gibbering jackass.