Dear Republicans, Part 3

Wow, another day, another Republican anti-gay legislator having gay sex.

Allow me to introduce Washington state rep. Richard Curtis. This time our Republican perv dressed up like a chick, went to a local adult video store, and picked up a 20 something dude. But things went south when the 20 something dude tried to extort cash from Curtis when he figured out who he was.

My favorite part of the whole article; “He told the newspaper Monday he did not solicit anyone for sex, that he is not gay and that he got into this mess just trying to help someone out.”

Damn. How far would you go for a friend? I’ll be honest, I got lots of friends, I’m having a hard time coming up with one who would dress like a chick and do some random dude he picked up at a dirty video shop in an effort to help me. So I am left to conclude that either this guy is the greatest friend in the history of the universe, or he is totally full of shit.

And what kind of friend needs help like that? Can you imagine the phone call?

“Hey Richard, yeah, I’m in a little bit of trouble here, can you help me? I need you to put on a dress and, well, even though you are a married heterosexual state representative, I need you to go to a dirty video store and pick up a random guy and have sex with him at a hotel, that would totally bail me out.”

“No problem homey, you can count on me.”

What a great friend! I mean, if he’s willing to do all that, asking for a hundred bucks would be no thang!

Anyways, time for me to once again reach out to my right wing friends. I don’t know why I bother though, you just can’t stop a family values Republican lawmaker from having illicit gay sex these days. But anyways, I try.

Dear Republicans, STOP HAVING THE GAY SEX! It looks so bad that you guys are the party of wholesome, Christian family values (except when it comes to war) and you keep buggering men while being men yourself. And if you get caught doing it, please stop with these lame ‘I’m not gay lines’, it just makes you look worse! It’s like walking into the kitchen and finding a child with his hand in the cookie jar, only to be told by the child, “I wasn’t trying to take a cookie.” It’s not even a good lie!

I have posed this question to many people, and they all have concurred so far. If you engage in gay sex, it makes you gay. Don’t get married to a woman then get caught having gay sex and try telling me that you are not gay. You blew a dude, the jig is up.

Silly Republicans, will you never learn?


Ps. Since I expect this topic to get many more posts, I just went ahead and gave it it’s own category. Silly gay Republicans.

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