Thoughts on Naming
People do some weird things. Naming things is pretty high up on the list.
I don’t really even want to get into what people name their kids. There are some truly retarded names out there. My least favorite is when people name their kids with someone else’s last name. That frankly pisses me off. There are so many good names out there like Frank and Doug and Ralph, why are you naming your kid garbage like Austin or Morgan or Grayson?
Grayson? Really? If you name your kid Grayson they should just take him away from you, you failed the test. No seriously, naming your kid Grayson is the worst kind of child abuse you could do. A close second being letting your kid grow a mullet, and the 3rd being baby rape.
Here is an incomplete list of names that are not acceptable to name your kid;
Grayson
Taylor
Morgan
Apple
Austin
Tyler
Madison
Kennedy
Jackson
Jordan
Ford
Assfuck 9000
If you name your kid any of those things then people on the street should have the right to castrate you.
A different thought on naming is this, why do some women name their boobs? Like, have a different name for each one of them. Are they really so different from each other that they require individual identification? Are you worried that is the heat of the moment just yelling out ‘Suck the left one!’ will not be sufficient? I was trying to come up with a list of names that women would probably not go for in regards to their tits. Here is what I got;
Lumpy
Tubby
Milky
Bobo
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas
Assfuck 9000
Not that I want to judge you if you did in fact name one of your breasts one of those names. Oh wait, check that, that is exactly what I want to do.
But why name them? You don’t see men rolling around naming their balls do you? Well I hope not cause that would be strange. What the heck do you name your balls anyways? Something round sounding? Nautical maybe? Like The S.S. Minnow and Captain Jack? Or perhaps go biblical with it, like naming them Moses and The Ark? Or perhaps you are a big Charles Barkley fan, in which case you might name your balls The Round Mound and Rebound. Hmm, on second thought, naming your balls sounds pretty awesome. I think it’s high time I name mine. Gotta come up with something good, oh wait, I got it!
Assfuck 9000 and Frank
Done and done.
-Ray