I try

Sometimes I question why it is that I exibit characteristics of retarded people.

It has been said that only the insane do the same thing over and over again and believe that they will achieve different results.

I agree.

That being said, I find myself once again involved in another unwinnable situation, and I feel dumber for having taken part in such.

What the hell is wrong with me? I already know that best case scenario = I lose. Yet here I am, playing my part, what it is I desire does not equate with what reality has in store for me. Once again I will find myself on the outside looking in, wondering what could have been, all the while being stupid, that is me.

I don’t know if all of you have heard the masterpiece that is the Marilyn Manson album “Antichrist Superstar” There was a point when I was at a very low point and it was the single entity that helped me get through it and move on and grow as a person. I feel oddly compelled to listen to it more lately, because I feel like I am going down a previous road, and it was the traveling music I was listening to back when, so it feels familiar.

Anyways, cryptic bullshit aside, I do not understand, I do not know what it is I am supposed to think,and such as it is, I am tormented and stupid.

Nothing easy is ever simple. My mom bought me a pillowcase with that slogan on it when I was very young, and sadly it has become the central theme of my life ever since.

Such is life, and so I endure.

Me = dumb.

Hello code, I am Ray, have we met before?

-Ray

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