Suck the Fuckeyes

May 30th, 2011

Jim Tressel is and has always been dirty.

I am still shocked that he ever was brought to do the right thing and resign in disgrace.

Not that I am shocked, his pious, Christian act was just that, an act.

My Ohio friends used to always talk and talk and talk about how The Vest did things the ‘Right way’. And when I scoffed they took umbrage…

I accept all of your apologies.

You are all allowed to say it. Get in Line…


Not the first time I spoke the truth and was slapped for it. Prolly won’t be the last.

But damn if it doesn’t feel great in the moment when vindication comes.

What is sad is the Buckeye response. The attitude of ‘All the schools are doing it’ is weak for Middle School kids, much less adults who should know better than to point at the others guys when you’ve done wrong. Had Buckeye Nation just owned it years ago and The Vest quit then, this would not be as sweet as it is today.

For that I thank you, Buckeye Nation.

I can’t wait til the day when Jim Tressel buys his ticket to the CFB Hall of Fame (The only way he’d ever get in) and looks longingly at that bust of a REAL MAN AND FOOTBALL COACH Lloyd Carr and gets all weepy and cries into his Vest.

God it feels good to be right, and on the side of light and truth, unlike my Ohio friends who walk the path of corruption and darkness.

Suck it Buckeye Nation, this has been over a decade coming.

Enjoy your sanctions.



May 16th, 2011

If you have a friend who insists that the anime FLCL makes total sense if you just watch all 6 episodes…Do not believe them, punch them.

No seriously, that is an awful show that I just finished watching, and I am angry anyone ever suggested it to me.

In short, skip that crap, your brain will thank you.


I’ve had it

March 7th, 2011

почистванеI’m done caring about the well being of this country.

Maybe I’ve turned more cynical since turning 30, but I find my attention being offended by idiocy more so than my ability to keep caring about the world.

Everything that a conservative says to you is a lie that is geared towards getting the richest 500 people in this country more money.
Everything that a liberal says to you is a lie geared towards preventing the above, but done so poorly unfocused that it makes you root for the rich.

I just watched a Mike Huckabee Fox News show that said that he wrote a book about small government that focuses on making the government involved in your social lives more.

Fuck all that noise, if you can’t see the obvious hypocrisy in those words, I will never get through to you.

I really believed Obama would make a difference, I guess in the same way some Tea Party fucktard thinks Rand Paul will make a difference for the regressives. We are all morons of the first degree.

Anyone that we elect on the extremes will turn center of the road towards the establishment roughly 2 weeks after being elected. How else can you explain the fact that abortion is still legal after 2 Republican Presidents/Congresses?

I thought I was voting for a real champion of the people with Obama. Someone who would finally tell the failed W. years to go shove some idiocy up their asses and get down to some real shit making this country not suck a dick.

Instead I found some pandering pawn who seemed to worry more about pleasing the opposing party than passing his own agenda. W’s ideas might have been fucking terrible, but he never worried about pandering, at least that asshole got some shit done, even if that shit was the devil’s work.

Now here we are with the Regressive Party wanting to go back to children working in coal mines with no health care, and the Progressive party who seems to ask the enemy if what they do is Ok.

I want a real fucking leader@!@

I only wish that one would come in my lifetime.


Exorcism Movies; Why Bother???

January 8th, 2011

Is this shit scary to anyone anymore?

I mean, 35 some odd years ago this crap made many people shit their pants.

It was a different world back then. It was a world where deep down people actually believed that religion was…get this…REAL!!!

Since then we have progressed as a people and accepted that what some old dude in Italy tells us is fact is actually, bullshit, because, well, it is.

So why does it seem that every year Hollywood drops a proverbial dump on all of us in the form of a new exorcism movie???

Exorcisms are seen by most of us as crap we still can’t believe is sanctioned and humored by any body of people, much less people that try and tell us how to live our lives.

Yet here we are constantly being reminded that we are to be ‘Shocked’ by ‘True Events’ that pretty much play out the same way in every one of these awful movies. If you feel the urge to see one of these retreads let me cue you in;

1) The victim will be female
2) They will speak Latin
3) They will say rude words
4) Their body will contort in some unnatural way
5) The ending will leave you unsatisfied and convinced that THIS EVIL IS STILL OUT THERE!!!

Did I spoil the movie for you? It’s OK cause chances are you’re an idiot and going to forget anyways.

So anyways, please stop supporting these awful retread exorcist movies. They all suck and need to go away. You know, like anything that 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie would have you go see. Just sayin’.


I will hurt Omar ‘Slam’ Duncan

January 8th, 2011

Next Saturday in Newhall, CA; I will hurt Omar ‘Slam’ Duncan.

I will face him in a ‘Free Brawl’. And this means that the kid gloves are off.

The last time I entered the ring I was blinded for 3 days after. I still gave 8 minutes of what was described as a ‘Great match’.

So look out Omar, I am healed up and ready to beat the living hell out of you.

See you in Newhall.


The end of my life…

August 28th, 2010

кухненско обзавеждане…Will be this game. I swear to God THQ runs right down the street from my store, and they come in to my shop, so I’ve gotten to know them. Do they not know how much time I will end up spending in this game? And do you think I can get a shout out for ‘Da Emperor?


A memory

July 13th, 2010

In another life when I worked in restaurants I used to work with a fiery, belligerent Christian theology student.

When I would get a horrific tip I would punch it into the computer while saying something to the effect of; ‘I hope you die of facial cancer’ or ‘I hope you do not survive the one car accident I wish upon you’.

Said theology student asked me why I was saying such things.

My response was, ‘It makes me feel better, plus if I put that energy into the universe, it is possible it may happen’.

His response;

‘I don’t know why you’re just saying things to yourself that do not matter and will come to nothing, even if it makes you feel better.’

My same thoughts on his type of prayer.




May 15th, 2010

You don’t get it. We laugh at farts because we are sophisticated!!!

The King of Poo

February 18th, 2010

I am still here.

Yet I am Gosh Darn Busy.

Who would have known that switching from a 24 hour a week job to a 50+ hour a week job would infringe on my free time???

I just watched a movie called ‘Nerdcore Rising’ and it was awesome.

It reminded me of my favorite nerdcore artist; MC DJ MSE. You know of him right? Well you should!!!

Anyways, things are super busy, what with me running the most profitable nerd store in the entirety of Los Angeles. Oh yeah, no shit, that’s real.

I’m sitting here, pondering my next steps. It causes me to look at my present;

1) I am the manager of Games Workshop; Oakbrook Plaza in Thousand Oaks, CA. This store whups a llama’s ass, Games Workshop is both the Mac Daddy, as well as the Daddy Mac. I love what I do, and am so glad to be doing it…really well.

2) I have multiple booked wrestling show on the horizon. I am booked for a Royal Rumble style match in San Diego in March, as well as a full on show here in the LA area come May. Finally, Almighty Ray will return to the ring. Now if only I can come out dominating as well…

3) My little black Miata has finally died on me. It’s been a good 10+ year run. Time to turn a new page.

4) My Sketch Comedy Show: Pop Co, just drew a respectable house and does not appear to be on the cancellation block for the first time in 3 months+, this is a good thing. I have much I want to do with this show, and not being canceled was first on the agenda.

5) I am currently living my with girlfriend Melissa in her swanky (Read; Missing window glass) apartment here in North Hollywood. It’s been good so far, even though we have illegal cats living with us that we must hide every so often.

6) I have written no poetry, and no rap in a while now. Kinda thinking I should get back up on that.
My sketch comedy writing has also taken a backseat to other things lately.

7) No auditions to speak of lately. In fact, I’m pretty sure that mainstream Hollywood can go F itself. I was convinced a long time ago that I was going to have to back door into this business anyways, so no drastic paradigm shifts there.

I am very pleased to be keeping status quo right now. I am currently considering my next big undertaking. Should I make a run at stand up? Should I cut a new nerdcore album? Should I fling myself into the local wrestling scene?

Who knows? Let’s face facts, like the dandelion seed, I have always gone where the wind has blown me.

Let’s find out together what the hell 2010 is supposed to mean to me. We all know that by the end of the year it’s going to have meant something!


The dealio

December 19th, 2009

>офис обзавеждане is what is up now.

First off, What the H man??? How did I go so long without posting? What am I, some kind of jerkface?

Anyways, Games Workshop is the best job I have ever had, besides that one time I stripped for money.

I run the show, I make the dough. It’s a sales job, but I sell goblins for a living, I am the nerd king of shit and it is awesomeness!

Anyways, I am in a far better place than I have ever been before. My regional manager came to visit on Thursday, and canceled his visit the following week because I was crushing shit so hard it was turning into diamonds.

I have new goals, they involve world domination. I will do it. You will help me.

You ready to take over the world?