Posts Tagged ‘hhh’

Comments on Smackdown

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

So, I’m trying to watch my DVR recording of WWE Smackdown tonight, when my viewing felt very short.

Maybe because there was very little to actually watch on the show.

I fast forwarded until 34 minutes into the show to finally find something worth watching. I mean, I could watch a 30 minute HHH promo where he puts himself over instead of the people he’s supposed to elevating, but why bother? He’s been doing the same promo for like a decade now, if you can’t paint it by the numbers, I question how long you have been watching WWE. I thought I saw Jeff Hardy in there somewhere, let me guess, HHH was snarky to him. I did not watch it, I just assume that happened, and somewhere in there Jeff tried to talk but failed.

Let me also say that I watch the matches, I could give a crap less about the same old promos that they shove down our throats each and every week. So every time I see someone in the ring with a mic, I usually just FF them unless their name is Chris Jericho.

Anyways, i skipped the same boring HHH promo and for my own sanity I skipped over the womens match because they are also universally unwatchable. I swear to God nothing exposes the business like a WWE women’s match, especially one that involves anyone not named Beth Phoenix or Mickey James. In this case it is the team of Maryse, Victoria, and Natalya vs. the team of Auto Zone, McDonalds, and Pirates of the Caribbean Online! Oh wait, it’s the team of Michelle McCool, Maria, and Brie Bella. In other words FAST FUCKING FORWARD!!!

For the record, I did not think anyone could be more horrible than Maria in the ring. . . then I saw a Brie Bella match. Dear God, if they care so little about the business why don’t we just show the workers talking about the matches ahead of time on TV as well? that would expose the busniess less than Brie Bella in the ring.

Now here we are, 34 minutes in, and the most watchable thing so far is a match between Chavo Guerrero and R (Don’t call me K-Kwik even though I suck like him) Truth. And that match while entertaining goes to a lame DQ. Now Bam Neely turns on Chavo! Now I hit the FF button!

Hey look it’s HHH making snarky comments towards Shelton Benjamin! God willing he puts him over as real competition, I mean, who’d want to see HHH in a match that contains fan interest? Obviously not HHH.


Now we are 45 minutes into the show, and Jesse and Festus show up to be actually entertaining. Let’s see Kenny Dykstra cut a promo! Yay! Remind me again why they give a mic to jobbers again? And we get a squash match that ends with no decision, cause who wants that? Jesse and Festus duct tape Dykstra to a movers dolly and they cart him off. Umm, Ok, people get paid to write this correct? I guess monkeys need work too.

Wow, now we get a whole segment devoted to flashbacks of a PPV that I was not interested enough to buy. Yay!


Wow, I hear there will be a fatal 4 way match to determine who will face HHH at the next PPV! Hmm, 3 midcard heels and Jeff Hardy, wonder what will happen?!

Here we are at 1:09 into the show and we finally get something actually watchable. Vladamir Kozlov is awesome. He is an old school style wrestler who crushes people and does not need 20 minute promos to get over. The rest of the roster should take notes. Sadly I am guessing this is the highpoint of the show, and when the highpoint is a squash, you gots you some problems.

Hey look, it’s HHH acting snarky to The Brian Kendrick! God willing he put him over as legitimate competition, or anyone for that matter. Ah well he owns the company in a few years, let him do what he wants.

Wait, the tag team champs are seriously Edge’s jobber friends? Wow, that makes me sad. And they are facing Carlito and his less interesting, less talented brother? Well, I got 2 letters for this match; FF.

Hey look, it’s HHH acting snarky towards MVP! God willing he make any up and coming performer look like legitimate competiton. Hey wait, have I made similar comments before? Wow, major Deja Vu!

Now we have a fatal 4 way match that I am guessing will take about 10 minutes more to get started! And we go to commercial before it does.

And now the match starts! And now we go quickly to ANOTHER commercial. Awesome, just once I’d like to see them go to commercial in the middle of one of the many boring HHH ‘I’m so much better than you’ promos so that the matches could get full time, that would be the day.

And we’re back! And it’s a midcard heels beat up Jeff Hardy match! If only the 3 heels involved were not so much more talented than Jeff Hardy. I mean, they might have more talent and future, but at least they don’t cause as many problems outside the ring as Jeff Hardy! Hey wait, why are they pushing Jeff Hardy instead of any of these 3 again?

MVP vs. Shelton is highly watchable and interesting, sad that nobody in the crowd seems to care.

I like how when Jeff Hardy goes for one of these lame high risk moves that are pretty much all he does, JR has to inform us that the move connected EVERY TIME. You know, cause our own eyes that saw it clearly miss are obviously not working.

Oh, what are the odds? Jeff Hardy won! Congrats Jeff, I hope you have a good time putting HHH over on the next PPV, that is if you can stay off the meth long enough to not get suspended first.

And now Vladamir Kozlov comes in to make me happy and just BRUTALIZES Jeff Hardy!!!

Well, that was a just God awful show with a happy ending.

Why do they call Smackdown the B-Show again? Oh yeah, this is why.


Thoughts on RAW

Tuesday, August 5th, 2008

Just finishing watching WWE RAW here, I’ve sobered up a little, and I had a few thoughts on the show tonight.

Chris Jericho’s new gimmick is awesome. I love what he is doing, it is really hard to honestly go from being a fan favorite to hated heel organically. Jericho has taken all the flash and brash out of his act, and the new character tweak is really fresh. Usually when people go from face to heel, they still cling to their old stuff (Catchphrases, attitude, demeanor) and they never truly get over as bad guys. I look at HHH, Batista, and Shawn Michaels who all did the heel try over the past year. All 3 of them got cheered anyways, and then went back to their old roles. Jericho has cut his hair, changed his ring attire, took the flare out of his entrance, and cuts promos completely differently now. Only one more change left to make, he’s gotta change his entrance music. His music still has the rock star good feelin vibe that he is trying to kill. I don’t know how he should change it, but it’s gotta go, and I love his music. But anyways I finally noticed that the crowds are not cheering for him anymore, and that is truly an awesome feat.

If Matt Stryker is on permanent jobber duty, then why is he getting mic time? They don’t give Super Crazy, Jimmy Wang Yang, and Val Venis mic time anymore now that they are not featured performers. Why does Matt get it? Do they seriously think that he’s actually going to get over with the same song and dance that hasn’t gotten over despite years of trying?

Oh yeah, back to Jericho, they did the right thing putting JBL over and giving him the alone title shot at Summer Slam. Jericho can use this defeat to get more bitter, and let it really build and build as he gets ‘screwed’ out of title shots one time after another, until finally he gets his shot at a big show like Royal Rumble or dare I say it, Wrestlemania. The longer they screw him in the meantime, the better the eventual match will be.

John Cena vs. Batista could go down as one of the best matches on paper that will suck goat balls. I do not want to say that either is a terrible performer, but they both are limited as to what they do. Both guys follow basically the same formula, punch punch punch kick clothesline. This works fine in most of their matches cause they only need to be on offense about 20% of the time, as the heels dominate them for most of the time. However, when they are matched up against each other, somebody is going to have to do a wrestling move somewhere. So unless one of them steps it up and suddenly acquires HHH’s moveset, this is going to be 16 minutes of punch punch punch kick clothesline, while 7 minutes into the match people go and buy hotdogs and use the restroom. I have the solution, and it’s not one that fans are going to like. You have to book this match short, like 8 minutes or less, and make the ending unsatisfying. This will serve to not expose either performer, allow both to retain some heat, and set up a hopefully more satisfying rematch somewhere down the line. Of course this does not actually solve the problem of how to make a good match between these 2, but it does delay the problem til a later time and who knows what will happen between then and now.

I am convinced that the only reason that the Great Khali is getting a title shot against HHH is because HHH thinks that he can be the guy to get a watchable match out of him. Maybe he is that guy, then again maybe Khali will kill him in the ring like he did that guy from his wrestling school. Hope not.

I like Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr. alot as performers. But watching their main event match tonight told me that they were not ready to carry the straps. Them losing the titles tonight was for the best. I think that they will rightfully get the titles back, but they are just not main event performers yet, and your tag title holders need to be ready for that main event. But when the champs are in the main event and are almost an after thought, and treated like jobbers, and not able to get their personalities over, that is a problem. Good move getting the titles off of them. They will in future be really good, but they need more time and seasoning to establish themselves and their act before they really should wear those belts again.

I am so very glad to see William Regal on my TV again. He rules, and I hope that his push will continue now that he is back. His heat still seems to be there, if he was to break through and win the title, that would pwn, given time and the right push, he could carry that strap proudly.

Ok, there is probably more, but that is all I got for now.